Sometimes just for a few passing moments I want to be a tough saint. However, I can't really do tough and I certainly can't do saint. I try my best to do kind and to look after myself which sometimes means being tough on others.
Sometimes in people's company I get ecstatic. I thought that this was alcohol fuelled which it sometimes is. Then a few years ago at a conference in Norwich I had toothache so I had antibiotics which meant no alcohol. I got ecstatic anyway.
Indeed a few times when I have got very drunk I have lost my ordinary mind (see my 'Pale mourning in Moscow' blog entry) and then said things I regret or even worse don't remember. So I prefer my ecstasy not to be alcohol fuelled.
Of course it does not always happen. I have a few pointers as to what helps me:
1) a few people I know and trust around me
2) people's willingness to have both a laugh and get deeply and humorously serious
3) Shop talk usually brings everyone out of such ecstasy
4) Singing and dancing always helps!
Of course I frequently have moments of (spiritual) ecstasy on my own.
Best,
William
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