Monday 14 December 2009

Poem for Annie Murray

I have a phone conversation every 6 weeks or so with an extra ordinary women called Annie Murray. She acts as my organisational supervisor and she has helped me for several years to stay in touch with my own agenda within the mad institution that I work in.

In April 2008 Annie knew she had incurable cancer and told me so. I wrote the following poem for her which I have never put into print nor performed so far:

Poem for Annie

You rang me up
To tell me
About your illness

My heart sank
And
Angry bile rose in my throat

“God no!”
“It’s not fair!”
“Only the good die young”
Cliches ricochet through my brain

I wanted to cry
Again
And
Again

So I said
“Do the things that make you feel good”

How feeble!

I wanted to say
“You know you are loved”
And “All things must pass”
And “Creation is friendly”

Annie's response was typical:

hi william

i'm really touched. your poem did what i needed to happen. i've had a sob stuck in my throat all morning and only now that its out i know that i needed to cry.

you are very kind. and you are right about doing things that feel good.
'prioritising' up to now has been a word that meant lists and in-trays.

right now my priority is to draw pictures and eat cake.

thank you for your poem and for your good wishes.

i am putting my faith in the power of prayer, the kindness of others and the right kind of drugs.

annie

She died a few days ago aged 54. I am a better person for knowing her and my work has been that bit better these past years.