Bike Cycle poem

Hi,

The genesis of this cycle of poetry is curious. Christmas 2006 I decided to once again write a novel. I had what I thought was a good plot about a middle aged man who disappears on his bike(!) So I set to and wrote the first few pages or chapter one of the book. It did not feel at the time like it was working out. So I threw aside. But recently working on the poems about my Dad’s war stories I that I had written them in the same book. Out of curiosity I re-read the bike writings. ‘Heh I quite like this’. So my daughter Grace once more found herself listening to my writings. She was definitely impressed and that says something, she can be my hardest critic. It seems I either have a short story or a long poem here. So let’s try it as a poem

BIKE CYCLE POEM

Cycling
I was cycling
I could cycle all night …
I could
Damn it I will …
It’s effortless and my legs are hungry to travel
I am hungry, damn near anorexic, to travel …
Travelling South
all the time
with the North Pole Star behind
Playing head and seek with the clouds.

It’s darker now
It must be midnight
But
I will go on for ever
Maybe I will
Maybe I’ll cycle until …
I run out of land.
Cycle across the sea
Across Europe
Across Africa
To Antarctica
Always cycling.

I can leave it
All behind me
Be free
Cycling all ways
Into the night
Into the dark
Travelling South.

I am hungry and
Smell fish and chips.
It’s a great smell
A smell from my childhood
Of Friday nights
And happy families.
It’s an old fashioned chippy
And it tastes great
I wolf it down
And follow it
With a coke.

You might think
I planned this
But it is not
True.
I don’t have
my passport with me
For a start
So there’s a decision there
That I have to face
To go back
Where she is
To pick it up
OR stop
When I reach the coast.

No
I have got
My wallet and credit cards
And that’s it
Apart from this bike.

I was on my way
to my therapist’s
And just decided to
Carry on cycling.

It’s cold now
But the cycling's easy
I feel warm enough
Just pedalling and …
I don’t want to stop.
When I stop
It will all end and …
I have only just begun.
I have only just begun to
Be me
And …
I can’t turn my back on me
Just now
So …
I have to cycle.
I cycle therefore I am.

You might think
I am cycling away
From something or someone …
Home … work … family… and so on.
No
It is not that
I am cycling to be.
I am not going anywhere
Well I am
But it is more
I am becoming
As I cycle
I feel like I am growing
Beginning to fill my skin
Fill my body
For the first time ever.

I am travelling towards my becoming
I can’t stop
I dare not stop until …
I don’t know until I know …
Who …
I …
Am …
And …
That …
I …
Am.

It’s funny
I am near Nailsworth now
Not where I expected to be
Not where I planned to be
But it is not a surprise
Really.
It’s almost dawn now
And …
I am hungry again and tired.

I smell a bakery
It’s not really open
But they are willing
To sell me some …
Bread rolls and …
Sausage rolls and …
A Cornish pasty
So I am happy
But thirsty
And then find a newsagent
Where I buy a cartoon of milk.

I am so near the cemetery
And find the tree
She is buried under
In the half life of dawn.
I stand there in silence
I don’t have a prayer
Only memories of what was …
Her too early birth and …
Too quick death and …
The pain, the tears and …
The pain and the numbness
Still lingers in my heart and belly.
I have to honour her with some flowers
Some tiny Freesias
From a nearby shop
Paid with my credit card.

Time to cycle on
My legs are
A bit tired
And weary
But I soon reach
A steady rhythm and
The miles past by.


Thanks to my readers!

Bill on bike