Future and past poem

(Written and Paper planes workshop last Saturday)

FUTURE and PAST

I was convinced you would die on me
And I would be a single step parent
But you left me instead
And all that soul searching
My 'What is life for?' stuff
Was turned on its head.

I went off to Japan on a business trip
And you just went
I came home to a hollow house
And a mortgage of grief.

So it goes
It went
You went
I brought a bike
And leaned into the wind
And didn't fall off.

I couldn't see a future for me
For some time spent following my nose
Keeping my head down
Getting by
You know the kind of shit
I am talking about.

Sometime something new and unexpected
Opened out in me
And I jumped the rails
And hit a future I didn't see
And now that future is coming to an end
And I ask myself 'Was that all a dream?'

But it only feels that way
I can see
The truth of these last 20 years
All around me
It's been good
But what next?
I guess today will be sufficient.