I meet the true me, or at least a truer me, in silence maybe in a Quaker Meeting, or in a holy place which might be an old cathedral, or a stone circle, or even a tree in blossom in the park. The important thing apart from a sense of holiness is that I am usually alone or apart in some way. For example in Quaker Meeting with eyes closed and non-one speaking. When I am relating to people I take a social shape, adopt a persona, call it what you will. I would argue that the true me exists in relation to Creation, God/dess if you like but it is only in these holy moments that I am not shaping for others.
The interesting realisation for me is that these holy moments also occur when I am cycling especially on extended bike rides which is why I am happy to cycle alone. I go through similar stages or patterns as I do in Quaker Meetings. I have things on my mind, some of which beg attention and sometimes I find they do resolves for the better or some times things not on my mind come and resolves for the better. So there is a de-stressing, a sorting out going on but then there is an emptiness and sometimes in that emptiness new awareness comes or sometimes a holy moment or two of communion with creation.
What is clear to me is that physical activity helps, so maybe all religious services/worship could usefully be preceded by Yoga or Tai Chi or bike riding etc. On the second day of my recent Coast2Coast ride it was tough going, it rained for the first 2 hours (‘Are you really serious about this William?’ the weather was asking me!). And then late afternoon the heavy cycling, or rather pushing bike up steep hills, was done and I had got confirming directions that I was on the right route from a lovely local man and then the sun came out for the first time in 48 hours. I felt blessed and thankful and said ‘Thanks’ out loud. In that moment it meant so much to me, life was simple, and the sunshine lifted my spirits. When I am on my bike and thirsty a few swigs of water from my water bottle taste like the best wine and in fact seem more use that most food during the actual ride.
So cycling encourages such a gratitude in me, a spiritual quality. And I am thankful that my body works well enough to cycle me around all day. I don’t know about tomorrow but today I am thankful.
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I reproduce an exerpt of my prayer-journal as a personal response....
"Having re-read William's 'Bikes and gratitude', I say that it is my prayer too that I am grateful that I can run 6-hilly miles today [i.e. I did so less than 24-hours ago]. I don't know about tomorrow. Lord, William is saying, "I meet the true me, at least a truer me..." Then he lists the circumstances. He concludes that the common factor is that he is usually "alone or apart in some way. For example in a Quaker meeting with eyes closed and no-one is speaking". He goes on to say, "physical activity helps, so maybe all religious services/worship could usefully be preceded by Yoga or Tai Chi or bike riding, etc." Lord, what is the religiously sceptical view? Exercise releases endorphins and serotonin. So it is 'nothing but' chemicals creating a sense of bliss. 'God' is merely a chemical (or more probably a combination of chemicals, which are neurotransmittors). Maybe, when people are quiet and alone, they are either (a) more likely to relearse greater quentities of each chemical or (b) release less antagonistic (neuro-transmittor) chemicals.
This 'relative chemical theory' may be broadly correct but does not explain why "we meet the true me or at least a truer me" because "the true me" may not be a positive version of me; it is an (arguably?) accurate version of me. This mental state is not the euphoria created by depressant like alcohol or by sympathomimetics like cocaine, filling one with a confidence born out of delusion: "I am being so witty." "She really fancies me and wants me." It is not the absence of anxious thoughts, though there may be an absence of anxiety. In other words, it is not, "I feel great [because I've forgotten all my problems]", it is often seeing the internal and external world as they are, without denial, yet without the self-persecution that may be present in psychosis.
So, I concur with William. It is my experience as well that when I journal in the morning, allowing a free flow of conscious thoughts, as if I am talking to (my concept of) Jesus himself; when I sit, eyes closed in a contemplative prayer meeting or eyes closed, bathed in musical worship, or when I run (or more more accurately, 'gently jog' at my age) ideas arise in my mind that are the solution to problems or are self-revelatory."
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