Tears

Reading the reports of the inquest into the 7/7 bombings moves me to tears today, yet again. The ordinary heroism of ordinary people. It's beautiful. I am deeply touched by people doing their very best. Like my student Valda who has just passed her doctorate after some struggle and much persistence and yes some skilled back up by me and Clare, and her colleagues and mates.

These days I cry really easily, more so than ever. I think it stems from the death of my dad so soon after the death of my sister back in 2001 and 2002. I am not the same. And it is curious that the death of my mum was easy in comparison back in 1992. So I have never got over these more recent deaths and it keeps me in touch with the preciousness of life and how my own days on this planet in this body are time limited and almost certainly more than half over.

Between the ages of 13 and 18 I was on antibiotics every day - penicillin. I hardly ever cried in that time and I put it down then to the medication drying em up as it where. I don't know if that is the Truth. I remember when I was 22 in my flat in Clapton in London one Saturday morning listening to John and Yoko singing 'War is over if you want it'. I wept for the first time in a while. Touched and moved. Well from then on weeping came naturally to me again. That was pre therapy days when I was a computer programmer in the Royal London Hospital bless its cotton socks.

I suspect some of my readiness to tears is age related. John Braine in his final 2 novels wrote in a very mellow way and talked about weeping more easily. But it feels good to me, I am a better man for it and I am aware that it can have a powerful impact on people. So be it.

Good well good people